i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
