How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
