I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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