How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
