I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
