We're facebook friends in real life
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
