A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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