My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
