In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
barbara walters just said penis...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
