we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
