used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
