hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
