Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
