I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
