So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
