he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
