Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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