How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
