You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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