you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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