I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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