Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
