I wish I only lived at night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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