Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
