mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
