He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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