I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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