I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
