Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
