We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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