My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
