She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
