my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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