I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
