Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I had to cum in my sink.
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