not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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