I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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