What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
