Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
