the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
