ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
