Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
