the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
