we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
