Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
