i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
