i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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