oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
