If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
