i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
