i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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