Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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